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When Being In Control Gets Out Of Control: Understanding and Breaking Free from the Desire for Certainty

Clarence Brooks

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Published in Too Perfect: When Being In Control Gets Out Of Control

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The desire for control is a natural human instinct. We all want to feel like we have some say over our lives, that we can predict and prepare for what is to come. But when the desire for control becomes excessive, it can lead to anxiety, stress, and even burnout.

Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control

by Jeannette De Wyze

4.6 out of 5

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In this article, we will explore the psychology behind the need for control, the dangers of excessive control, and strategies for breaking free from its grip.

The Psychology Behind the Need for Control

There are many reasons why people crave control. Some people have a strong need for order and predictability. They may have experienced trauma or chaos in their past, which has led them to believe that the only way to feel safe is to have everything under control.

Other people crave control because they have low self-esteem. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve to be happy. As a result, they try to control their environment in an attempt to make themselves feel more secure.

Whatever the reason, the desire for control can be a powerful force. It can drive people to do things that they would not normally do, such as:

Micromanaging their employees or family members
Hoarding possessions
Refusing to take risks
Avoiding social situations
Developing obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

The Dangers of Excessive Control

While the desire for control can be understandable, it is important to remember that it can also be very dangerous. Excessive control can lead to:

Anxiety and stress
Burnout
Relationship problems
Health problems
Addiction
Depression

If you find yourself struggling with excessive control, it is important to seek help. A therapist can help you understand the root of your need for control and develop strategies for breaking free from its grip.

Strategies for Breaking Free from the Desire for Control

Breaking free from the desire for control is not easy, but it is possible. Here are a few strategies that can help:

Identify your triggers. What situations or events make you feel the need to control? Once you know what your triggers are, you can start to avoid them or prepare for them.
Challenge your thoughts. When you feel the need to control, take a step back and challenge your thoughts. Are you really in danger? Is there really anything you can do to change the situation? More often than not, the answer is no.
Practice acceptance. One of the best ways to break free from the desire for control is to practice acceptance. This means accepting that you cannot control everything and that life is full of uncertainty. It does not mean giving up or being passive, but rather learning to let go of the things you cannot control and focus on the things you can.
Take action. One of the best ways to overcome the desire for control is to take action. This does not mean trying to control everything, but rather taking small steps to improve your life. When you take action, you are showing yourself that you are capable of handling whatever life throws your way.

Breaking free from the desire for control is a lifelong journey. There will be setbacks along the way, but do not give up. With time and effort, you can learn to let go of the need for certainty and embrace the uncertainty of life.

Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control

by Jeannette De Wyze

4.6 out of 5